Skip to main content

RoadSideOpinion: Traffic Bright

"we all hate the traffic but the blogger and the begger disagree"- Wright Elijah



There are different reasons as to which a man beats his chest. It could be as a result of cough or he's laughing. Sometimes its an instruction from the pastor to beat your chest reassuringly saying " I know who I am". Which is a clear indication that you really dont know who you are or you lack knowledge of your potentials. But an exception to this is the bus driver who took me out this morning, he clearly knows who he is and wants others to know too.

"Adiok ono usoh, do you know who I am!" Yelled   our puny looking driver, his arrogance was backed up by reptive vigorous slams against his chest as he drove his question home. For some reasons which I am yet to discover, the Ibibio insult ( Ibibio translate for it shall not be well with your father) really got the other driver's temper from zero to a hundred. He was about to discharge a few blows to our driver if not for the timely intervention of the passengers. Trust me, you dont want to listen to ID Cabasa ft wizkid ft olamide - Totori while watching a bunch of roadsapiens exchange blows. This song blasted through the sterio providing the best soundtrack for the ongoing movie. It really seem like our driver intentionally threw inaccurate blows in tandem with the "oya totori mi one time, tor!" (Oh God, I am so silly).

After about five minutes of hotness under the collar and throwing tantrums, the driver took the wheel and we continued the voyage.

The infamous oron road know for her bizillion traffic lights made our joy momentary. It was a day of chest beating because I found myself beating my chest in pride as I told the driver that I would have done a better job installing those traffic lights.
Pardon me to rant afresh.
"Comon! Who installs a traffic light with a 30 seconds delays for the green light and FOREVER seconds for the red light and they are just so many, na for road we go die? (pardon my pidgin)"

Here is where the story gets a sad twist. Every vehicle had her engine turned off with furrowed brows of occupants waiting for this three coloured plague to go by. But the little boy and his blind mother thanked Heavens for this perfect design cause it bought them time to move from one vehicle to another begging.

"Abeg help my mother, my mother no dey see. God bless you" The bright little boy pleaded. And for dignity sake I will refer to him as TRAFFIC BRIGHT. Most of us are so used to these plea for help around traffic lights that we write it off as normal.

Quick question, do you think he believes the red  light means STOP? Or red means IT'S TIME TO MOVE.

Do you think he believes green means MOVE? Or rather STEP ASIDE.

What is normal about Traffic Bright who is on the road when the morning births her dew, because that's when he believes the workers (people with the money) leave for work and stays there till the afternoon sun comes to burn him to the bones. Do you still think it's normal?

Traffic bright hardly or never receives a pat on the shoulder saying "everything will be fine". The only hands he feels  on his shoulder are those of his blind mother urging him to beg on.  Do you still think it's normal? He is about ten years of age and I wonder how many hours of depression he goes through in a day,  how many wishes he makes when he sees other kids at the back seat of "mummy's" car.  Does he ever ask himself "when is my life going to start? "

By popular opinion, some persons  think its normal to yell at him. "Daka ke itiem" ( ibibio translate for leave here) Our driver yelled when he came by the bus.  I quickly gave him a fun fact which he never cared to know.

FUN FACT

Did you know it takes the boy about 10seconds to recite his begging lines to you?

Did you know it takes him about  10 more seconds to see if anyone will respond?

Did you know it takes him about 15 seconds to walk to another bus cause he's walking with a blind woman?

Did you know spending 35seconds before getting to the next vehicle only gives him a chance of 3vehicles before the 2minutes delay of the red light is out? Because he needs 15 more seconds to leave the road.

Did you know solving this out properly gives him about 4naira per minute if he spends 8 hours of the day (do the maths, its about 1,920 naira the whole day if he receives 20naira from two vehicles.) And this cannot be compared to what you spend buying recharge card for your four girlfriends who use airtel, mtn, glo and 9mobile (Oga service provider)

There are so many Traffic Brights around you, some carry water sachets in transparent buckets,  some even carry dirt stricken foams to clean your windscreen. The least you could do for them is a smile and not a yell. 

Now I think the driver doesn't like the much I told him cause he seems to be applying the break like he wants the seatbelt to rip me in two.  I alighted from the vehicle and in a bid to revenge, I gave him a 50 naira note with a big gash at the middle. His reaction is story for another day cos I am already walking into the distance.

9Eleven cares... ❤❤❤

Comments

Post a Comment

You'd Also Like This

5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED

 5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET     MARRIED(THE ALTER EGO ISSSUE)    A couple of weeks back I was on my way to Metropolitan Supermarket where I went to get some hair products for my hair. I alighted from the Tricycle popularly know as #KEKE in this part of the world and was about to pay the driver when a feminine voice interposed; "il take care of it". I turned around to find my friend Ruth (real name withheld) standing beside me. To cut the long story short, I learnt that she was going through some crises in her marriage. She couldn't help but show her sadness in form of tears that rolled down her cheeks while she talked. And I was compelled to write something about Marriage.    I questioned more than a couple of people to give me reasons why they wanted to get married. But surprisingly enough some of them never wanted to get married and with legit reasons. Most of their reasons all boiled down to what I'll call the #ALTER_EGO issue. Now before I proceed to giv

"ACRIMONY" the Movie Controversy

   Have you ever asked for a die-hard movie lover and I didn't present myself to you? Well im so much a sucker for movies but about a few weeks ago, I was sucked up in thought after I was done watching the highly controversial movie ACRIMONY. And it dawned on me more like a self realisation that in as much as I can cry when I watch a sober movie, I can equally get very upset.  After much thought I decided to do a review of this movie based on my personal judgement and a few others. Just before I begin to add my own "versy" to the already existing controversy, Here is a a brief synopsis of the movie plot 'ACRIMONY' for the benefit of those who have not seen it yet. As the clearly aggrieved Melinda relates her story to the shrink, the story flashes back to the early days of her relationship with Robert (Antonio Madison, playing the younger version of the character), whom she meets when they're both in college. The young Melinda (Aijona Alexus, who seems

Pick-Up line or FuckedUp line

Okay, today I decided to take a brake from fashion and how we wear what we wear. Reason being that, im beginning to realise that most of us even after appearing appealing to the eyes; fine, overly dressed and with a lot of charisma Actually do not know how to talk. And by talking I meaning having right Pick-up lines or Chyking(like my Nigeria brothers would call it). Cos frankly I think most of you wouldn't have been born if the only line Daddy used was "You are the Sugar in my tea" which tea please? ? #thinking. Let me pause a Sec to explain why I think so: Did you know just about yesterday, out of the 7billion people in the world, in a corner of Uyo Nigeria there was a certain guy who told a girl "Baby im not staring at your boobs, im only using my eyes to find a way into your heart" Prior before now I felt like those lame pick up lines only existed in comedy movies or vocals of Okon Lagos aka Bishop (our Nigerian kevin Hart) but yesterday got me thi

Why We Fall In Love With The Wrong People

There happens to be a lot of uncertainty resulting into questions when it comes to this Falling in love thing. Its either a case of: "Falling in Love is beautiful but what if I'm falling into the wrong hands?" Or "Sometimes the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you." Some other times its: "Bottom line,we never fall for the person we are supposed to".    Now this brings me to the point of interest. Have you ever Wondered why we often fall in Love with the people who don't Love us back? Chase people who don't want us?  I could still recall way back in highschool, I use to have this beautiful seat mate(my young eyes really admired) who really was so into me but I never treated the feeling with any much respect, perhaps cos I was the one being chased? or maybe I wasn't just cutout for any of those childhood dramas. But one amazing thing was 'she never stopped'. This is same case with many of us(men/women). Many

CROCS AND HOW TO WEAR EM!!

CROCS OR NAH! Okay, today I was sitting with my friend and the sister came along. She wanted to go get food and since we were just a bit free at the time we decided to tag along on her request. While we walked down my friend kept saying Hi to almost err one, so there was a repetitive momentary stop we always had to observe to wait for her. While I waited for her with the sister I couldn't help but notice the CROCS she had on. I really don't do well with compliments though but I had I to tell her how nice they looked. Because she wore em neatly and correctly.   Now im not a croc fan, to be earnest enough I dislike them and I even dislike them the more the way some people get to wear them. Now the multi coloured rubber clogs which made way into the light in the year 2002 has been overly abused and in  #LASISI_ELENU'S voice il say "im so upset right now!". How can you wear a shirt buttoned to the neck, wear a coperate pant neatly ironed and shirt neatly tucked i

RoadsideOpinions: One Minute Man

" Says he can go for hours but pops before the toaster does"- Kermit the frog It is no more news that a lot of things are wrong in my country. Ranging from the religious crisis to misappropriation of funds and lack of  intercourse between the three tiers of the government to conceive effective synergy. Which do I talk about and leave the other? Is it the People who frown like they own the vehicle when they order Uber,Opay etc or the ones that look at you like your brain is a vacuum when you try to flag down the Keke (stop that  nonsense)they Ordered from Opay. Well that's not where the problem lies. The major problem my country faces is these people who Keep polluting the peace with a lot of noise about "doing your work Kakaraka as a man" You don't know them? Herbal drugs oooo.  Here's  from me to the ONE MINUTE MAN. You hear things like : " You no go fit do your work as a man" "Every time your wife touch you,you go say you dey

LAYERING (SHIRT ON SHIRT)

            LAYERING(SHIRT ON SHIRT) We decided to come through with something for err one, as long as you're male or female then this is for you. But if u not any of those then....... Before I proceed il like to take the time to sincerely apologise for leaving my readers with nothing to read and catch up on. Good thing is im back for better and im back for you ♥.     Now take a close look at this picture and tell me what you noticed. I know the traffic would be very congested with the number of people who noticed a green light first. Some others might notice the individuals Resin glasses, but that's not it. You never noticed he was wearing a SHIRT ON A SHIRT. YES! That's not a jacket.    You know the shirt on shirt is a style which is quite delicate, meaning that with just a slight error everything gets messy and not nice to behold. There's a thin line between looking cool and looking stuffed up in this kinda style. Wearing a shirt on a shirt is really a rare

The Secret Life of People You call TUSH

" liver start to fail ever live o faraway lyrics" ; and as soon as you touch SEARCH, Google immediately pops up DAVIDO-ASSURANCE lyrics. Do you really think you are the only one that finds unknown Songs that way on the net? Did you really think you were the only one that tears your toothpaste container when it gets finished just to get out the last trapped paste content within its edges? Let me not even go too far cos im walking in your shoes here. Did you think you were the only one that wore a Size 42 shoe whereas your foot Size is 40 but had to stuff it up with  lots of Papers just to fill the Empty space which lies within. But no one knows cos you come out looking ruby and soft Did you think you were the only one who saves a pornographic video on your phone as "Pastor Kingsley Sunday Message II" just so people don't go through it and start seeing you differently. You think you are smart abi? With that kinda Decoy abi (I must add here:STOP WATCHING