5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED

 5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET
    MARRIED(THE ALTER EGO ISSSUE)

   A couple of weeks back I was on my way to Metropolitan Supermarket where I went to get some hair products for my hair. I alighted from the Tricycle popularly know as #KEKE in this part of the world and was about to pay the driver when a feminine voice interposed; "il take care of it". I turned around to find my friend Ruth (real name withheld) standing beside me. To cut the long story short, I learnt that she was going through some crises in her marriage. She couldn't help but show her sadness in form of tears that rolled down her cheeks while she talked. And I was compelled to write something about Marriage.
   I questioned more than a couple of people to give me reasons why they wanted to get married. But surprisingly enough some of them never wanted to get married and with legit reasons. Most of their reasons all boiled down to what I'll call the #ALTER_EGO issue. Now before I proceed to giving you their reasons why they said "I NEVER WANT TO GET MARRIED" you should understand what Alter ego means.
   An alter ego (Latin, "the other I") is a second self, which is believed to be distinct from a person's normal or original personality. A person who has an alter ego is said to lead a double life.

  You find out that more often than not when you first meet someone or perhaps go on a first date with someone, they put up their best behaviour perhaps cos most people walk with the "First impression matters a great deal" thing.  But sooner than later when you have gotten really acquainted with them, they display their alter ego, their second personality which they kept on a low and most times its always unbearable. So like Aniefiok would say "I can't cope with shit at all talk more of coping forever" most people initially when the relationship is still at the stage of WHO LOVES WHO THE MOST, display their best behaviour or sides and just when it gets more serious and ends up in Marriage, both parties become true or like my friend Eno would say "Real Real". So from the information gathered here are top 5 Reasons why some people said "I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED"

▶I EASILY GET BORED
  Can you keep up with same routine err day? That was the first question he asked me. And not just him alone several other persons are of the opinion that they easily get bored when they spend a lot of time with one person. And marriage is a different ball game where you have to spend forever with your spouse. Most times the spark which you once had for each other dies down with time, and some other times you realise only later that the chatty boyfriend you once had wasn't actually chatty but was only trying to win your heart cos he knew you liked getting engaged in conversations

. But im not of that opinion of boredom being a reason why I shouldn't get married. for crying out loud, those of us that work out regularly never feel bored doing that, in fact it becomes a routinethat we even get to spice up with music and flashy gym wears. Why don't you think marriage in similar fashion, spice it up and make it work out so that no one gets bored and walks out.

▶MATTER OF WIFE AND DEBT
This reason was found to be peculiar to men and  slightly relative to the woman, okay not slightly but greatly related to the woman. Some where of the opinion that most marriages they've come across was centered on the woman and her demands.

Her demands had to be met to be called a good husband, her emotional needs had to be met to be a caring husband, her hormonal changes had to be understood to be called a Sensitive husband. And it's always about the wife and these men in such marriages try their best to meet the needs of their wives at all cost making them run into a lot of debts which is not cleared till he works extra hard to clear em so he can be called a hardworking husband. And I can clearly understand this point of view but that is the reason why we have got two eyes. Because we can't get a clear image of something by looking at it from one angle. Have you tried looking at it from the angle of "did you marry your best friend". Reasons being that, I don't think a wife that shuttles as a best friend too wouldn't care for your own needs too. GET MARRIED TO YOUR BEST FRIEND AND NOT YOUR CRUSH #laughs

▶EVERY ONE GETS DIVORCED
Now this was a point that got me really emotional as Idara(other name withheld) talked about it. She said "do you know I have two other friends and our parents are all divorced, our lives at some point feels incomplete, I don't want any child to go through that". I was quite perplexed when I conducted a research on divorce rate to realise it actually has increased by more than 5% in some countries since 2012.

Most persons these days are quite eager to fall in love, be in a relationship but never intend to get married because they believe most marriages end up in a divorce. Its either he cheats or she cheats but it just seems like its an unavoidable destination for most marriages, just like a break-up seems an unavoidable destination for most people that date and as well lack foresight. This divorce thingy affects the kids more than it affects the uncoupled couple. Most people from divorced homes do not think that the concept of "true love" is real.  Even when they find it they can't tell that's it. They keep searching for it because they never knew what it seemed like from the first teachers they knew; PARENTS.

▶IM TOO CONFUSED
Some days ago I was going through my Facebook Timeline and I saw a post that made me laugh a lot and at the same time set me pensive.

For the guys they kinda want; the broad hip, handsome bosoms, je-lo's booty, nice face, shrill voice #laughs and the females want the beards,square shoulders, deep voice, rock hard abs. But the truth is we have 7billion people in the world , this should tell you that the number of people with these qualities are so many. And you can get really confused choosing who to stick with out of the multitude. Some guy once said
"If I can get very indecisive what to have for breakfast, I don't think il b decisive when it comes to choosing a wife"
As funny as it sounds it true with a lot of people both men and women. Its like a chase to get perfection. Fact! Perfection doesn't exist, its only a figment of our mortal minds.

▶ALTER EGO ISSUE
you use to be very honest with me
You use to sing to me very often
You use to tell me how much you loved me
You use to open doors for me
You use to call at non office hours to check on me
you use to dress to impress me
You use to be scared of loosing me
And the list of "you use to" keeps going and the list is unending due to the alter ego issue. Most people you get into a relationship with play a role to fit into the kinda life they perceive you might like. So Williams plays the quiet shy guy because he knows that makes you feel in charge and the feeling of being in charge makes you treat him like a soft marshmallow and Boom! you are in love. Cynthia perceives that you are the kinda guy that likes a lot of attention and likes when the girl gets jealous and she plays that role perfectly well and you fall in love. But just when Williams gets married to you , he shows you his manly side which loves command and authority, likewise Cynthia who shows you her feminist part that hardly gets jealous, hardly shows she cares even when she does because now both parties know they have gotten the the Love which they sought for.

And its not seeming like a mixture of shooting stars mixed with rainbows and auroras as they thought.

Feel free to contribute to this, share your views in the comment section. 9eleven cares