RoadSideOpinions: Can I Have Your Number?

"... Three things i really need to have; Money, Confidence and your phone number. I've got the first two, can i have your phone number?" - Anonymous

Did i hear someone say there's nothing like luck? Nae, right now i choose to disagree. How else do you describe this.
I woke up feeling very moody, i stepped out to get a few things at the store which is about a 3minutes drive or 10minutes walk. But i boarded a bus anyways.

How else does luck shine on you asides sitting "alone" at the back seat, a loud mighty woofer right above your head and the drivers music playlist making you feel like heaven just got four wheels and a driver. My mood changed from Angry Bird to SpongeBob.

"Make i come make i pon pon pon" Rema's- Dumebi just wouldn't stop tingling the cores of my intestine. The woofer right above me supplied this unique bass which threw me into spasms of a seated "poko" dance (i know how to do that o)

"Ogini echeke Ogini na fio" (i guess you know that part of the song)
I couldn't contain the gbedu that entered my body, there was an outburst of "ehhhhh!!!"from my mouth that the guy and girl in front of me had to turn around to check if i was still normal.
Did i care?Hell no!

"Use Offot"(my bus stop) the driver called out to me. But who steps out of a bus with such playlist on? Not me!

"Drive on! I go stop for Plaza" (that wasn't where i planned on going initially).

The driver sped on as the music played on.

I noticed the dude in front of me had been twitching like he was about to jump outta his skin or worse poop. Well it wasn't yet my business ( was only going to be when the bus starts smelling) cos Fire was set to the Rain when i heard : "igbe X6 , egbe X6 Oga mi enugbe , Ore mi enugbe"

Olamide's- Oil and Gas (mad jam!) Gave my fingers which were pointed upwards in the peace sign an Orgasmic shiver( there's no better way to dance than while sitting).
The circus was disturbed when the vehicle plunged into a minor porthole causing the music to stop.

There was silence.....who off light?

This made the voice of the dude infront of me seem louder. Yes i could hear him trying guy lines on this girl( chykin as pidgin insists). He leaned closer to this girl who obviously was uncomfortable. I dont know if he had bad breath or that she didn't wanna listen to what he had to say. She kept shifting ( hmm)

"Can i have your number" he whispered almost feeling embarrassed.
Hold up! Dear men, why do you feel scared asking for phone numbers especially when in a bus(stop that nonsense 😂).
You are committing no crime, you just wanna be sociable right? Own this shit man!!( dont be a piss)
The worst that could happen is a refusal , the best you can get is an after story like " missing rib found in a bus" ( ohhh how i love fairytales).

Well,uncle decided to alight almost as soon as the girl typed in her number on his phone. He thanked her, stepped down and paid the fare for both of them. Only for her to mumble under her breath " you go call taya"(I quickly guessed it was a wrong number)
Bet why?

Anyways the song was back on but i had lost the vibe cos of the 50Naira uncle wasted on this girl( i guess he'd be rushing home to make call o)

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT
On behalf of every man who has been given a wrong number, a 3days crusade tagged "Mr Right never gets the Wrong Digit" would be organized for you because 9Eleven Cares... ❤❤❤

Comments

You'd Also Like This

5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED

5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED(THE ALTER EGO ISSSUE) A couple of weeks back I was on my way to Metropolitan Supermarket where I went to get some hair products for my hair. I alighted from the Tricycle popularly know as #KEKE in this part of the world and was about to pay the driver when a feminine voice interposed; "il take care of it". I turned around to find my friend Ruth (real name withheld) standing beside me. To cut the long story short, I learnt that she was going through some crises in her marriage. She couldn't help but show her sadness in form of tears that rolled down her cheeks while she talked. And I was compelled to write something about Marriage. I questioned more than a couple of people to give me reasons why they wanted to get married. But surprisingly enough some of them never wanted to get married and with legit reasons. Most of their reasons all boiled down to what I'll call the #ALTER_EGO issue. Now before I proceed to giv

"ACRIMONY" the Movie Controversy

Have you ever asked for a die-hard movie lover and I didn't present myself to you? Well im so much a sucker for movies but about a few weeks ago, I was sucked up in thought after I was done watching the highly controversial movie ACRIMONY. And it dawned on me more like a self realisation that in as much as I can cry when I watch a sober movie, I can equally get very upset. After much thought I decided to do a review of this movie based on my personal judgement and a few others. Just before I begin to add my own "versy" to the already existing controversy, Here is a a brief synopsis of the movie plot 'ACRIMONY' for the benefit of those who have not seen it yet. As the clearly aggrieved Melinda relates her story to the shrink, the story flashes back to the early days of her relationship with Robert (Antonio Madison, playing the younger version of the character), whom she meets when they're both in college. The young Melinda (Aijona Alexus, who seems

Pick-Up line or FuckedUp line

Okay, today I decided to take a brake from fashion and how we wear what we wear. Reason being that, im beginning to realise that most of us even after appearing appealing to the eyes; fine, overly dressed and with a lot of charisma Actually do not know how to talk. And by talking I meaning having right Pick-up lines or Chyking(like my Nigeria brothers would call it). Cos frankly I think most of you wouldn't have been born if the only line Daddy used was "You are the Sugar in my tea" which tea please? ? #thinking. Let me pause a Sec to explain why I think so: Did you know just about yesterday, out of the 7billion people in the world, in a corner of Uyo Nigeria there was a certain guy who told a girl "Baby im not staring at your boobs, im only using my eyes to find a way into your heart" Prior before now I felt like those lame pick up lines only existed in comedy movies or vocals of Okon Lagos aka Bishop (our Nigerian kevin Hart) but yesterday got me thi

Why We Fall In Love With The Wrong People

There happens to be a lot of uncertainty resulting into questions when it comes to this Falling in love thing. Its either a case of: "Falling in Love is beautiful but what if I'm falling into the wrong hands?" Or "Sometimes the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you." Some other times its: "Bottom line,we never fall for the person we are supposed to". Now this brings me to the point of interest. Have you ever Wondered why we often fall in Love with the people who don't Love us back? Chase people who don't want us? I could still recall way back in highschool, I use to have this beautiful seat mate(my young eyes really admired) who really was so into me but I never treated the feeling with any much respect, perhaps cos I was the one being chased? or maybe I wasn't just cutout for any of those childhood dramas. But one amazing thing was 'she never stopped'. This is same case with many of us(men/women). Many

CROCS AND HOW TO WEAR EM!!

CROCS OR NAH! Okay, today I was sitting with my friend and the sister came along. She wanted to go get food and since we were just a bit free at the time we decided to tag along on her request. While we walked down my friend kept saying Hi to almost err one, so there was a repetitive momentary stop we always had to observe to wait for her. While I waited for her with the sister I couldn't help but notice the CROCS she had on. I really don't do well with compliments though but I had I to tell her how nice they looked. Because she wore em neatly and correctly. Now im not a croc fan, to be earnest enough I dislike them and I even dislike them the more the way some people get to wear them. Now the multi coloured rubber clogs which made way into the light in the year 2002 has been overly abused and in #LASISI_ELENU'S voice il say "im so upset right now!". How can you wear a shirt buttoned to the neck, wear a coperate pant neatly ironed and shirt neatly tucked i

RoadsideOpinions: One Minute Man

" Says he can go for hours but pops before the toaster does"- Kermit the frog It is no more news that a lot of things are wrong in my country. Ranging from the religious crisis to misappropriation of funds and lack of intercourse between the three tiers of the government to conceive effective synergy. Which do I talk about and leave the other? Is it the People who frown like they own the vehicle when they order Uber,Opay etc or the ones that look at you like your brain is a vacuum when you try to flag down the Keke (stop that nonsense)they Ordered from Opay. Well that's not where the problem lies. The major problem my country faces is these people who Keep polluting the peace with a lot of noise about "doing your work Kakaraka as a man" You don't know them? Herbal drugs oooo. Here's from me to the ONE MINUTE MAN. You hear things like : " You no go fit do your work as a man" "Every time your wife touch you,you go say you dey

LAYERING (SHIRT ON SHIRT)

LAYERING(SHIRT ON SHIRT) We decided to come through with something for err one, as long as you're male or female then this is for you. But if u not any of those then....... Before I proceed il like to take the time to sincerely apologise for leaving my readers with nothing to read and catch up on. Good thing is im back for better and im back for you ♥. Now take a close look at this picture and tell me what you noticed. I know the traffic would be very congested with the number of people who noticed a green light first. Some others might notice the individuals Resin glasses, but that's not it. You never noticed he was wearing a SHIRT ON A SHIRT. YES! That's not a jacket. You know the shirt on shirt is a style which is quite delicate, meaning that with just a slight error everything gets messy and not nice to behold. There's a thin line between looking cool and looking stuffed up in this kinda style. Wearing a shirt on a shirt is really a rare

The Secret Life of People You call TUSH

" liver start to fail ever live o faraway lyrics" ; and as soon as you touch SEARCH, Google immediately pops up DAVIDO-ASSURANCE lyrics. Do you really think you are the only one that finds unknown Songs that way on the net? Did you really think you were the only one that tears your toothpaste container when it gets finished just to get out the last trapped paste content within its edges? Let me not even go too far cos im walking in your shoes here. Did you think you were the only one that wore a Size 42 shoe whereas your foot Size is 40 but had to stuff it up with lots of Papers just to fill the Empty space which lies within. But no one knows cos you come out looking ruby and soft Did you think you were the only one who saves a pornographic video on your phone as "Pastor Kingsley Sunday Message II" just so people don't go through it and start seeing you differently. You think you are smart abi? With that kinda Decoy abi (I must add here:STOP WATCHING

RoadSideOpinion: Traffic Bright

"we all hate the traffic but the blogger and the begger disagree"- Wright Elijah There are different reasons as to which a man beats his chest. It could be as a result of cough or he's laughing. Sometimes its an instruction from the pastor to beat your chest reassuringly saying " I know who I am". Which is a clear indication that you really dont know who you are or you lack knowledge of your potentials. But an exception to this is the bus driver who took me out this morning, he clearly knows who he is and wants others to know too. "Adiok ono usoh, do you know who I am!" Yelled our puny looking driver, his arrogance was backed up by reptive vigorous slams against his chest as he drove his question home. For some reasons which I am yet to discover, the Ibibio insult ( Ibibio translate for it shall not be well with your father) really got the other driver's temper from zero to a hundred. He was about to discharge a few blows to our driver

9Eleven

Search This Blog