Skip to main content

The Secret Life of People You call TUSH


" liver start to fail ever live o faraway lyrics" ; and as soon as you touch SEARCH, Google immediately pops up DAVIDO-ASSURANCE lyrics. Do you really think you are the only one that finds unknown Songs that way on the net?
Did you really think you were the only one that tears your toothpaste container when it gets finished just to get out the last trapped paste content within its edges?
Let me not even go too far cos im walking in your shoes here. Did you think you were the only one that wore a Size 42 shoe whereas your foot Size is 40 but had to stuff it up with  lots of Papers just to fill the Empty space which lies within. But no one knows cos you come out looking ruby and soft


Did you think you were the only one who saves a pornographic video on your phone as "Pastor Kingsley Sunday Message II" just so people don't go through it and start seeing you differently. You think you are smart abi? With that kinda Decoy abi
(I must add here:STOP WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY IT KILLS YOUR BODY, MIND n SPIRIT).....
   There's a whole lot of things People do in secret or behind closed doors that no one ever gets to know about.  And funny thing is when they come out to the open
, they seem like angels, perfect people, too Rich etc but that doesn't change the fact that the girl who passed you on your way to work this morning with a lot of foundation, long eyelashes, excellent catwalk, open cleavage, British accent, actually used water to wash her Bum after visiting the loo #laughs well I'm only trying to be silly.
  So before you label that Uncle or Aunty TUSH, just calm down and ask yourself some questions and ud realise TUSH is not really TUSH afterall. Hey!! Don't get me wrong here, im not saying we shouldn't "Package" (like the popular pidgin colloquial suggests). There are people out there who can't walk up to someone perhaps to start a conversation, ask questions because this persons looks very cool and might also be way out their league. Little did you know that even your famous celebrities go through the same things daily.
Like really don't you think sometimes your celebrity doesn't mistakenly Fart and try to distract people around them from perceiving and realising he/she did ?

  Why am I saying all of this?  Its actually because of the perception most people have about other people who they consider to be perfect or near perfect. Sometime ago I found myself in the midst some guys  doing what they do best; "Talking about football and Girls". One of the guys caught my attention when he said

"I bin wan follow the girl yarn but o boy! If u see her phone, her shoe sef na die! (Puts his hand down to pick the dust in a gesture often used when swearing) I bin just loose hope to even ask the babe her name because this type enn I need be governor pikin before she go look myside."

We all laughed at his story, but as the conversation progressed I realised that this our "miss perfect" was someone I knew so well. When I say "so well" I mean so well that I knew the day she added water to her perfume which was almost empty just so she could have something to spray and at least smell nice for that day. #Shrugs but here is some guy wanting to be the governors son before he can walk up to her.
I went about asking people some of the things they do in secret that no one knows about,  not surprising enough no one shared a thing with me #laughingHard. 
Well I just thought I should gossip a lil with you guys today, by the way check very well there are so many girls around you who use Clips for tying bread wrappers to hold and clip the ends of their hair. Check very well the guy you are having difficult times being friends with just finished having his bath with Klin Detergent.
Im only telling you cos 9Eleven cares♥♥♥

Comments

Post a Comment

You'd Also Like This

5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET MARRIED

 5 REASONS WHY I DONT WANT TO GET     MARRIED(THE ALTER EGO ISSSUE)    A couple of weeks back I was on my way to Metropolitan Supermarket where I went to get some hair products for my hair. I alighted from the Tricycle popularly know as #KEKE in this part of the world and was about to pay the driver when a feminine voice interposed; "il take care of it". I turned around to find my friend Ruth (real name withheld) standing beside me. To cut the long story short, I learnt that she was going through some crises in her marriage. She couldn't help but show her sadness in form of tears that rolled down her cheeks while she talked. And I was compelled to write something about Marriage.    I questioned more than a couple of people to give me reasons why they wanted to get married. But surprisingly enough some of them never wanted to get married and with legit reasons. Most of their reasons all boiled down to what I'll call the #ALTER_EGO issue. Now before ...
11 comments
Read more

"ACRIMONY" the Movie Controversy

   Have you ever asked for a die-hard movie lover and I didn't present myself to you? Well im so much a sucker for movies but about a few weeks ago, I was sucked up in thought after I was done watching the highly controversial movie ACRIMONY. And it dawned on me more like a self realisation that in as much as I can cry when I watch a sober movie, I can equally get very upset.  After much thought I decided to do a review of this movie based on my personal judgement and a few others. Just before I begin to add my own "versy" to the already existing controversy, Here is a a brief synopsis of the movie plot 'ACRIMONY' for the benefit of those who have not seen it yet. As the clearly aggrieved Melinda relates her story to the shrink, the story flashes back to the early days of her relationship with Robert (Antonio Madison, playing the younger version of the character), whom she meets when they're both in college. The young Melinda (Aijona Alexus, who seems...
4 comments
Read more

Pick-Up line or FuckedUp line

Okay, today I decided to take a brake from fashion and how we wear what we wear. Reason being that, im beginning to realise that most of us even after appearing appealing to the eyes; fine, overly dressed and with a lot of charisma Actually do not know how to talk. And by talking I meaning having right Pick-up lines or Chyking(like my Nigeria brothers would call it). Cos frankly I think most of you wouldn't have been born if the only line Daddy used was "You are the Sugar in my tea" which tea please? ? #thinking. Let me pause a Sec to explain why I think so: Did you know just about yesterday, out of the 7billion people in the world, in a corner of Uyo Nigeria there was a certain guy who told a girl "Baby im not staring at your boobs, im only using my eyes to find a way into your heart" Prior before now I felt like those lame pick up lines only existed in comedy movies or vocals of Okon Lagos aka Bishop (our Nigerian kevin Hart) but yesterday got me thi...
2 comments
Read more

Why We Fall In Love With The Wrong People

There happens to be a lot of uncertainty resulting into questions when it comes to this Falling in love thing. Its either a case of: "Falling in Love is beautiful but what if I'm falling into the wrong hands?" Or "Sometimes the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you." Some other times its: "Bottom line,we never fall for the person we are supposed to".    Now this brings me to the point of interest. Have you ever Wondered why we often fall in Love with the people who don't Love us back? Chase people who don't want us?  I could still recall way back in highschool, I use to have this beautiful seat mate(my young eyes really admired) who really was so into me but I never treated the feeling with any much respect, perhaps cos I was the one being chased? or maybe I wasn't just cutout for any of those childhood dramas. But one amazing thing was 'she never stopped'. This is same case with many of us(men/women). Many...
1 comment
Read more

CROCS AND HOW TO WEAR EM!!

CROCS OR NAH! Okay, today I was sitting with my friend and the sister came along. She wanted to go get food and since we were just a bit free at the time we decided to tag along on her request. While we walked down my friend kept saying Hi to almost err one, so there was a repetitive momentary stop we always had to observe to wait for her. While I waited for her with the sister I couldn't help but notice the CROCS she had on. I really don't do well with compliments though but I had I to tell her how nice they looked. Because she wore em neatly and correctly.   Now im not a croc fan, to be earnest enough I dislike them and I even dislike them the more the way some people get to wear them. Now the multi coloured rubber clogs which made way into the light in the year 2002 has been overly abused and in  #LASISI_ELENU'S voice il say "im so upset right now!". How can you wear a shirt buttoned to the neck, wear a coperate pant neatly ironed and shirt neatly tucked i...
Post a Comment
Read more

RoadsideOpinions: One Minute Man

" Says he can go for hours but pops before the toaster does"- Kermit the frog It is no more news that a lot of things are wrong in my country. Ranging from the religious crisis to misappropriation of funds and lack of  intercourse between the three tiers of the government to conceive effective synergy. Which do I talk about and leave the other? Is it the People who frown like they own the vehicle when they order Uber,Opay etc or the ones that look at you like your brain is a vacuum when you try to flag down the Keke (stop that  nonsense)they Ordered from Opay. Well that's not where the problem lies. The major problem my country faces is these people who Keep polluting the peace with a lot of noise about "doing your work Kakaraka as a man" You don't know them? Herbal drugs oooo.  Here's  from me to the ONE MINUTE MAN. You hear things like : " You no go fit do your work as a man" "Every time your wife touch you,you go say you dey ...
2 comments
Read more

LAYERING (SHIRT ON SHIRT)

            LAYERING(SHIRT ON SHIRT) We decided to come through with something for err one, as long as you're male or female then this is for you. But if u not any of those then....... Before I proceed il like to take the time to sincerely apologise for leaving my readers with nothing to read and catch up on. Good thing is im back for better and im back for you ♥.     Now take a close look at this picture and tell me what you noticed. I know the traffic would be very congested with the number of people who noticed a green light first. Some others might notice the individuals Resin glasses, but that's not it. You never noticed he was wearing a SHIRT ON A SHIRT. YES! That's not a jacket.    You know the shirt on shirt is a style which is quite delicate, meaning that with just a slight error everything gets messy and not nice to behold. There's a thin line between looking cool and looking stuffed up in this kinda style. Wearing a s...
Post a Comment
Read more

THE CONFESSION STORIES: She Made Me Do IT

 CONFESSION: SHE MADE ME DO IT "I promise to tell the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the Truth" There's a first time to everything right? Maybe my first time was behind time or perhaps it was at the right time but the first time I was touched by a girl, female, woman, lady,which ever you want to call it was too intriguing that I can barely forget.  Maybe you know my name but for people who don't, thank God. Just describe me as (W) and for privacy sake which matters in this situation, this lady would be described as (W). Confusing yeah? Read on! I'm sure when it comes to sexually oriented contents or that have a bit of  erotism, you hardly get confused even if I said "Men are swords" (now you're trying to read a dirty meaning into that, *Laughs* means nothing any ways)    I was in Junior Secondary School at the time. Smart,Quiet and  Naive would be the adjectives that best described me. Plus I was very antagonistic towards girls and m...
8 comments
Read more

YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND YOUR WARDROBE

YOUR SELF ESTEEM AND YOUR WARDROBE Walk into any fast food restaurant around you or perhaps pay the cinema a visit. You are sure to find the following set of people; Guy and Girl sitting and talking. Most times it always seems like the guy is trying to convince her to believe something. She smiles at intervals and then maintains composure. I call these set of people the LOVERS. Asides the LOVERS we have those that come all the way down from their houses to these public places to charge their phones.  I'd call em the PACIFIERS because they're so obedient and try to please err one around. The waiters or security most times are good at ordering these ones around knowing fully well that they wouldn't protest or argue since they are only charging their devices and paying no dime. But out of all the categories of people you find in these public places, there's a category of interest and it's the STEAMERS. I call these ones the steamers because they feel so HOT, sexy, a...
2 comments
Read more